MARRIAGE IN SOUTHERN AZERBAIJAN
In
Southern Azerbaijan, in which the culture and social life is
historically rooted, there are some very attractive and
special traditions bearing the traces of religious beliefs.
These traditions and customs and their methods of practice
have long been observed. Marriage is regarded as a holy
event for the people of South Azerbaijan and they show
respect to the family concept. This holiness and esteem
contributes even more to the beauty and splendor of the
wedding ceremonies in Southern Azerbaijan. The wedding
ceremonies generally have a uniform celebration style.
People do not usually get married in the months of Muharram,
Safar and Ramadan due to their religious beliefs. In some of
the regions in Southern Azerbaijan and especially in
villages and towns, the girls are chosen by sending a third
person to see the girl (a matchmaker). This method, which is
a part of the marriage, is carried out by the mother and
sisters of the candidate groom. Once the choice is made it
is time for “Elchilik”, which is
asking the girls hand. The relatives of the candidate groom
sing the following song during the ceremony to ask the
girl’s hand:
I have come to take a stranger
I have come to take a shawl
I have come to take a bride
To the hazel-eyed man.
After this song the ceremony is over and they ask for the
girl’s hand.In some regions of Southern Azerbaijan, they
show their hospitality to ones, who come to ask the girl’s
hand, by offering them “elchi rice”. Later, the elders of
both families come together to discuss the days of official
marriage and the wedding feast. This peculiar event is
called as the “arrangement day” in Southern Azerbaijan. On
the arranged date the elders of both families are invited to
the “house of the girl” and discuss the ‘marriage money’
called “Mehriye” and reach a decision. There still is a
tradition in some of the nomadic families of Southern
Azerbaijan to ask for a price in return for the bride, which
is called “shirbaha” or “milk money”. Once the girls says
“yes”, the conical-shaped sugar, brought by the members of
the groom’s family, is broken and the head of the broken
piece is given as a present to the bride’s mother. Following
the arrangement day jewelry, fabrics and presents, which are
to be used in preparation for the wedding day, are bought.
The official marriage ceremony takes place in the bride’s
house on a day, which is regarded as a lucky day in Southern
Azerbaijan, with the participation of both families and with
the presence of an officially authorized person. As the
marriage sermon continues a white piece of cloth is being
hold just above the heads of the bride and groom and two
pieces of sugar cubes are rubbed together for the couple to
have a very sweet life together.
In the past in Southern Azerbaijan, the girl and the boy,
who were going to get married, used to go out at nights to
meet each other. The fiancées used to sing “Bayati” and folk
songs to each other until the break of dawn. One of the
oldest traditions in the villages of Southern Azerbaijan was
the “Chaharshanbe Suri” which means that on the last
Wednesday of the year the candidate groom crawled up onto
the roof of the bride’s house and threw a shawl, sash or
handkerchief inside the girl’s house.
The prominent Southern Azeri poet Sehryar describes this
event in his poems as such:
It was feast and the night bird sang
The bride was knitting the groom’s socks
All the people threw their sashes down the chimneys
Oh what a nice tradition waving a handkerchief is
When you wrap yourself with your grooms’ sash
The candidate bride receives presents on every feast day
from the relatives of the candidate groom, when she is still
in her father’s house. After the official marriage ceremony
the families of both the bride and the groom invite each
other to their houses, which is a tradition called “getting
to know each other”. By this way it becomes easier for the
bride and the groom to go to the relatives’ houses. There is
another matter before marriage: The permission of the
elderly relatives should be taken for the wedding feast to
be organized. This of course means giving presents to them
in return for their permission. Finally both the families
come together and the wedding feast is held in an atmosphere
of complete joy. A sacrificial animal is cut in the groom’s
house and meal is cooked with the meat to the guests. After
the meal music is played and people dance to it in
traditional Azerbaijani style. Most of the guests give the
money called “Shabash” to the musicians as a tip, praying
for the health of the bride and groom as they do so. In some
of the regions in Azerbaijan, this collected money is given
to the groom. In the wedding feasts in Southern Azerbaijan
the traditional poets sing old and noble folk songs and
create a special and warm atmosphere. A “Saghdush” (best
man) and “Soldush” are chosen from among the friends of the
groom and the father of the groom gives them presents.
Meanwhile feasts and the atmosphere of joy continue in the
bride and groom’s house. During the late hours at night a
group consisting of the relatives and friends of the groom,
go to the bride’s house in order to bring her to the groom’s
house. Meanwhile the father of the bride whispers the
following words to his daughter’s ear, when they are
together with the relatives of the groom: “May you have a
son and a daughter, may you be in wealth and riches, may you
listen to what your father and mother-in-law say to you,
hope you have good days in front of you”.
In
Southern Azerbaijan some beautiful and interesting folk
songs are sung while the bride is being taken to the house
of the groom. For example: We gave one and took another/
Oh mother of the girl hope you stay side by side.
Once
the bride reaches the house of the groom, she stays on the
doorway motionless and waits for her father-in-law to give
her presents and permission to go inside. When she is given
the permission to go inside she sits on a chair and a small
pot is placed on her head. This pot is called “duvakh” and
is filled with money and the best man snatches this pot and
runs away. In order to take the pot back a present should be
given to the best man. This tradition in Southern Azerbaijan
is called “catching the duvakh”. Either one day after the
wedding night or a few days later, the relatives bring
presents to the groom’s house. The groom’s house offers
delicious meal to these guests. These traditions are
currently applied in a plainer manner and are observed more
in rural areas. Nowadays the girls and boys meet each other
on the streets and even propose on the streets… This
tradition seems as though it will come to an end as meeting
each other and getting married is done in a rapid manner
just as splendid dining tables have been replaced by fast
food. Nevertheless the people of Southern Azerbaijan are
determined to practice this tradition still in most of the
regions.
